Woohoo! There has been energy around writing in this space again for over a week, and I am excited about that. I am excited I have followed this flow in this moment. I am excited to be here. Can you hear me clapping, or did I need to say it? Lots is happening and moving. My intention here is to give myself an outlet to share the different levels of me and what I see or experience.
It is 100% about me. It is not bringing in the next golden age or bringing heaven to earth, for we have already done that. We have succeeded. It is birthed. Here we are. Now we get to start to choose what we want to do with it. We get to expand it out horizontally. This is one level of the world I know tangibly. It is clearly not seen that way by many or most. That is okay. It does not change my experience.
I just looked it up and in the last six months, I wrote a journal every day except one. I remember setting an intention to take time to write everyday. I acknowledge I succeeded.
I am not going to look up what I saw a week or so ago, but I will simply open this space and see what is here now. I was looking yet again at “wanting” to write in this space again. I saw one of the reasons I have not opened it again. My life, my thoughts, my experiences really exist in different layers and levels. I saw it as three when I looked at it. There is my three again. Here, I see it as three octaves of experiences, none better than the other, but each having different purpose and different density. The densest is what I would call my human and my mundane experiences. The next level is what I am playing with, otherwise known as my creations. And the least dense is my knowings of who we are and where we are going, maybe the intelligence behind the “Genie in the bottle” of the middle octave.
When I have wanted to write, to explore before, I would be in one of these octaves. But the next time I looked, I was seeing from another level and had no desire to follow through and share that previous one. For me, if I wait, if I don’t follow my flow, then the opportunity has moved on. I do not go back to re-create. I believe now that I was looking for a cohesiveness, or “the truth”, before wanting to open the space to share again. I think I wanted to be in just one of the levels, but which one always changed.
My reality is, there are some people who just like to hear my experiences. A deeper reality is that often when I choose to put words to my current experiences, it opens doors for others. That is always quite light from my experience. It is simply a win/win.
And, it is good for me to write. I am a writer. It is good for me to express in this way. I have had two very powerful relationships in my life in communicating through writing more than anything else. I received so very much both in the writing and in the reflections back. Neither of those is now what it used to be, but they taught me. They gave me so much joy. And I learned to write every day.
Given both realities, others and mine, I am ready to step into this yet again, with a slightly different expression than before, but this is a new Day and a new Me. In some ways it is exactly the same. Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. On the densest level of reality, it looks exactly the same.
One of my issues since the very beginning of my writing has to do with my relationships with others. In the densest part of me, the human part of me, I am intimate and I am intense. Much of my learning and growth comes from play with others. This, in my beingness, cannot be shared directly in a forum such as this. If it was just about me, yes, I am open and it is okay when it gets misinterpreted or misconstrued. There is gift in it all as it plays out. So, either I will learn how to expand it out so it is personal to each that reads it, but not sharing anything personal of another, or there will be One who enters my life again that takes up that aspect for me. I do not need to wait until it plays out to begin. I know how to begin. I know how to create. And I know the power of us, all of us, coming together to play.
If I do start to write on this forum more often, I will not send a newsletter every time to let you know. But I will continue to send them periodically. As always, please do feel free to participate, share a comment, an observation, a question, either on the website for all, or to me directly if that feels safer or more appropriate. I encourage you to let go of the mental processing. Let go of thinking you need to say something in a specific way, or need to be “clever”, or need to know what you are going to say before you start to write. If you feel an energy within you, speak from that energy. This is learning who we are.
With love and excitement,
Marybeth
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