It has been another round of looking at structures. In particular, I am noticing how I have a very prominent habit (or structure) of allowing, and of allowing things to be good enough. I often do not even really notice when something is slightly out of alignment in my day because I just make the best of it and move on. In some ways, I think I am noticing this because I am already in the midst of changing this.
Now, I love this ability that I have! I am definitely keeping it as a tool in my ever-expanding tool box! There are lots of uses for it yet, but it does not need to be a habit and override the possibility for me to make a choice as to “Is that the tool I wish to use in this experience?”
I have recently taught myself the basics of Joomla, a website software. I went into our business website, which runs on Joomla, and saw a quick change I could make that Rick would appreciate. It was just swapping out one image for another one. All seemed fine, but when I saved it, the image disappeared. And no matter what I tried, I could load an image, but when I saved it, it disappeared. It really was good enough for now as I was not sure which looked better anyway, no image or one that looked broken, as it had been. And our enthusiasm is growing to look at revamping the website completely. My preference was to have an image loaded, and because I thought it was something simple I was missing, I reached out for assistance. I stepped out of my habit of just allowing something to be. I stepped out of allowing that to be good enough. I stated what I wanted. I know, very simple. Life is very simple. But I LOVE noticing when this is becoming the new default, the new reaction. It turns out, it was not anything I was doing. There is something “weird” going on, and finding it at this point is actually very helpful. At this point, stepping into the allowing works great while we are resolving the issue.
Another little piece that brought this structure of mine to be noticed was a piece I have overlooked. Rick told me today that he unhooked the edge of the shower curtain so it is free to move to either side of the tub now. There is a window ledge next to the shower that we were protecting by forcing it to be there. But we can always choose to put it there. And as soon as he said that, I thought of several times where it irritated me that I couldn’t move it to the other side because it was attached. What a wonderful idea to simply unhook it.
I am sure it was a wonderful idea to hook it when that choice was made. But how often do we set something up, whether a shower curtain or a personal habit (structure), and then forget it is possible to make other choices? How often to we put up with things because that is how it is? How often do we simply not not choose to create what we do want now?
I find I am in a beautiful space now of creating more and more fluidity in my structures. I love to have structures. I love to have places to play. Perfection to me is always accompanied by joy, and appreciation soon follows. Being very precise in what I do has also been a component in my structure that I thoroughly enjoy. As I say that, I remember playing with the concept of precision a couple months back. I felt like the precision I am capable of, and that brings me joy, was not really working in my life. As I looked at it, I knew I wanted to keep precision as a tool, and I started to see that when I could apply it more broadly in what I was creating in my life, then it would bring me the satisfaction I was expecting. I needed a more expansive application than what I had available in my current experiences. How exciting to see that changing already!
In this moment, I see the interplay of the two structures – the precision and the allowing. And I am SO excited to be creating more and more now from a place of choice to really create consistently the experience that I want.There is a dance between the precision and the allowing, and there is also discernment especially when playing with others how much precision is possible at this time. To step into everything that is possible, it is good to recognize also that we are still in transition. It is a dance also to be able to open to the unlimitedness while still living in a world that is in transition, to begin to recognize it without letting that impose limits again.