I have started looking again, more focused, more precise, on what I do want in this life, what it is about. I always get stuck when I do. There are the big dreams, the big knowings, but I don’t know how to plan those. I don’t know the next three steps in bringing in the Golden Age, or bridging Heaven and Earth, or how to bring planetary and earthly existence back into alignment with the energies of the world to come. And when it comes down to looking, I go very micro and I want to spend time with my grandchildren, in particular. That has not changed. I want to continue to grow, nurture, create this relationship and this life with Rick. I don’t wish to miss out on the micro to bring in the macro. For one, I do not believe it is possible. In essence they are the same.

As I look at the next layer, right now there is a space opening with Fiona and Steph, re-membering of deep sisterhood, and also connection with the land energies through working in our home. There is an excitement as we plan our outside garden and patio spaces. There is a joy as Rick and I start to put attention outside and into plants. Yesterday I spontaneously signed us up for a dance class. That could be a great hobby, and yet could take up a lot of our time. I have endless studies around me, books, classes.

I don’t know how to move the bigger pieces forward, so I always get stuck when I focus in. I decide it must not be mine to do because my life is full and I already have much to do that I want to do.

I was pointed to something in the sleep space last night. I chose to remember it and bring it back. Over the last couple months, I have mostly just watched the coronavirus and lockdown choices. And I have not watched it closely, just people I speak with and headlines. But I did watch Boris Johnson in our coming out of lockdown. I was really surprised with the tone and the message. There was no continuity from lockdown being to flatten the curve to assist medical workers to the message now. None. In all fairness, I did not listen to Boris Johnson at the beginning. Flattening the curve made some sense to me at the beginning, so that stuck.

I allowed the inconsistency to come to my awareness, to come into clarity. The next day, I noticed no one commenting on the inconsistency. No one questioning how we got from A to B, with A being flattening the curve to B being a war on a virus that we all must fear. I have not seen anything, nor heard anything, to make that jump. The media all spoke in fear of coming out of lockdown too soon. But the hospitals that were put together to account for the large numbers of beds that “would be needed” were under-utilized and taken down a month ago. I decided, once again, I just see things differently. But I held my clarity. And I voiced it, just to a couple people I know, not trying to preach it or to convince anyone, just stating the switch was made in what was being said and no one noticed, no one commented on it. It was not agreed.

Last night before coming to bed, I read one headline. In trying to follow it, I found it was buried. The link took me to a page of other headlines. It would have been easy to lose my thread as to why I went to that page. This time I did not lose it, though. And I found the article. There was one person making the clear statement that the lockdown measures had been put in place to flatten the curve, not prevent people from getting the virus.

It did not click at the time. But I was shown it last night. And then I was reminded of the words of Sanat Kumara that I have recently shared with you all. In summary, “… since much human consciousness is self-nullifying, the clarity of the few is sufficient to allow significant engagement here.”

For the moment, given how it was presented, I will allow the thought that my clarity made this difference in the media – from no one noticing to one person voicing it. What if choosing to hold clarity as I did makes a difference? I did notice I held that differently than just observing. I did notice it was not coherent and I did not choose to make the jump. It was a choice to see it, though.

This morning, in looking at my life and what is possible, I see I am not excited to play a game where I need to save the world or to fix something or change it due to what others are doing or not doing.  But I am interested in learning how to hold and direct energies, like clarity. Will I get more reflections back that my thoughts do make a difference in what happens on a bigger scale?

What if “bait and switch” is one of those “difficult planetary energies” Sanat Kumara was referring to when he spoke of “There is an alignment and an aspiration, a soul level aspiration, to engage in this experience of helping to transmute some of the more difficult planetary energies and to allow an enhancement of that momentum that is drawing the energy of the planet in the direction of this golden age.”

And I am not excited about sacrificing (in what I would call the normal definition of that word) to help other people who are less fortunate or suffering, yet I am seeing I would be interested in finding a way to help others to see options. For so very long in my life, I did not want to affect others. I did not want to take away their free will. I wanted them to see it on their own. But it has been suggested that others may want what I have, if they know it exists, if they believe they have a choice. I am willing to start to hold what I know with more clarity. In clarity, it can be seen by others. And everything I do, everything I offer, is just an offering, like everything else. But if I put what I know out there, then others actually can choose to see it on their own.