I am still in the same rewiring phase. Yet things are shifting. It is not a stuck-ness. It is the water pooling, looking for the next pathway to open, to flow.
I see pieces that I have held dear also cause limitations. I see how I have been excited in the past, and rightly so, when I changed my vibration so that my automatic responses changed. One of these pieces has been around my ability to know that I am always well-cared for. I have noticed I really have no wants or needs because all is met, and life just gets better.
And that has been significantly helpful. Yet it is quite a limitation also. For there are always more levels of wants! And while life does continually get only better in the design as I have created it for myself, it does not give opportunity for jumps or acceleration when I do see something I want. My passion gets watered down – automatically.
For instance, in this particular rewiring phase, all is well and I know that. Stuff happens and I do not put particular significance to it. Life is great as it is. And I know what is ready to open will be more magnificent – because I have glimpses. But what if, instead of allowing this particular mechanism to affect the flow, what if I started to choose with intention that I know the magnificence will indeed land? What if I call for it now that it is tangible? It sounds very simple now that I speak it, yet I had not looked at it that way before because I so easily now work with not needing particular results.
So, maybe the easy shift for me is to see that I do already know the results I want. It is the details I do not see. I do not see how to get there. I do not have the experience of being there. Yet I do have glimpses of the bigger picture of what I do want. As I see it now, I always have. For most pieces, none of this is new. I have always been me. This has always been reflected in certain experiences or by certain people. But in the awakening to who I am, it becomes more tangible and more usable. It becomes the everyday experience, not the exception that is so spectacular to experience when it happens. It is just being me by choice, by intention.
Another piece I am watching is what I will label “discipline.” I have been very disciplined in the past. I have let go of some of that in the last couple years around exercise and diet because my body rewired itself physically and I did not require it any longer. And I like not “having” to do something for survival sake – although that worked great when I was in that phase as well. But how do I shift to this heightened energy when it just feels great to know how take care of, support, uplift, nurture my bodies to natural joy and well-being? The discipline I have used in the past feels like it will be a limitation in that which I am creating now.
I feel like this letting go of being so beautifully and easily disciplined needs to morph. The food and exercise is an outward example of it.
Another glimpse I had was a, let’s call it a day dream. I saw myself creating moving, with telepathy, a vegetable that someone was chopping, such that it slipped out of their hands. It was like a silly episode on a TV show. It made me laugh inside. But then mentally, I thought this was probably not funny at all, and would not be nice to the person I did it to because they wouldn’t know why they suddenly became clumsy. I put the word mischievous to this concept I had just watched / experienced.
There is a level of playful power in that. I have that deep within me. To my recall, it has only surfaced a few times in my life and my mental body has shot it down before I ever acted on it. Maybe as a child it came out, I do not know. But I feel this discipline wrapped around controlling that aspect of me also. What would happen if that aspect of Marybeth was seen?? Yet I feel my eyes dance as I write that.
That experience also brought the faeries to the forefront again. Reading about them, mischievous is always a label they have had. But they never showed themselves to me in that regard. But, nor did I understand or see value in that attribute. It just seemed irrelevant. Yet, I am reminded I have access to this as well, and it just makes me giggle.
I do notice as I observe this, that there is a combination of playfulness and power that is part of the who I am. It has always been there. That is a feeling I love. I love me deeply when that is flowing. I know me then. And there is coming an opportunity, as I let more defenses down, to play in this power, to play in this flow, and to start to add intention to what is flowing. This is becoming tangible. This is a place where I see I am willing to give myself permission to learn to use the power that is so available to flow through me.
Yesterday I sat down with the intention of owning my Divinity, owning my gateway, owning who I am at that level here in this body. I know I have access to higher levels than what I am currently working from. And I know it will continue to land. The momentum is there. Yet there are mechanisms that I can choose to override for this express purpose. I can choose that I do want this result in this lifetime. And I see some of my hold-backs. And I know all will be magnificent if I do choose this step.
Today, I woke in a space where my consciousness was not attached to my physical body. This was a first. It just felt normal really. I am me, but it was different. I could see that. And I could see how operating from this vantage point was indeed very different from operating within and as the physical body.