I went through a phase, maybe several of them over the last 6 months to 2 years, where I was seeing and acknowledging the mastery I have obtained in creating on this physical plane. I have become very sure of myself. I was willing to see what I saw and to put words to it. In the last week, however, I have been presented with things that have “happened” (good things!) but that my mental mind is not willing to acknowledge / believe that I was able to create at that level and speed. It is okay if I did, it was what I wanted to happen, and I had set intention to create it, but I am not willing to say it out loud to anyone as I do not feel resonance with that yet. I will need more proof.
I never remember which way the words are supposed to go – of the world versus in the world. It never really made sense before. But that old saying I am starting to feel as what I have been experiencing lately, being in the world, but not of the world. It came to me as I picked up a Dion Fortune book yesterday and she spoke those words, saying their group was of the world but not in the world, as they were “in” the world to come instead.
Wow. Okay. I just went and looked it up. Dion Fortune actual said “are no part of the age in which they live, but of an age that is yet to come.” This resonated with me when I read it. It reminded me of this golden age I have found myself talking about. I have memory back to when we were labeling it as 3rd dimension and 5th dimension and I knew I wanted to assist others to the 5th D from the 5th D, not trying to get there from the 3rd. Maybe it is the same with bringing in the golden age. Maybe it is done from the golden age.
But the “Wow” was the words that I wrote … in the world to come. I have started working more with a certain group / lineage whose perspective is from the World to Come. I could feel this tradition as soon as I wrote it. And maybe that was the message, hold it from being there. Or maybe there is more.
Prior to those words yesterday, I was seeing more and more experiences as similar to an experience I had when I left my first husband. Once I got it, once I understood, it was like I had stepped into a different play completely, and he was showing up in the new play (in my life) wearing the old costume and playing the old role, and it was just funny because it so did not fit. I am seeing that more and more in many experiences I have now. It has made me feel like I have lost my sanity a bit. But all in all, I really do like what I have created. I like all the results. So, I am okay with not being sane, if that is what is happening.
It is not new for me to write and learn from the words that come out. But in this experience, I feel I am closer to turning this on more consciously. I have been playing with automatic writing or channeling myself for a while now, and I will have to say I am just trying because I am not doing it yet. I had someone suggest a little bit back that maybe I could write my first book by working with someone and answering their questions. Now, I wonder if I could prime the pump of my attuned writing by writing “to” someone. It just turns on then.
I am not sure if I will change writing on this website to that forum. I am just noticing this venue has changed over the years. I started writing for a two-fold purpose when I started my crystal adventure. One, several people asked to be kept updated, and I assumed they meant it, so I was looking for an easy way to keep my word. Two, I felt that I would be a different person by the end of it and it would be impossible to capture the shift from ignorance after I had lived it / experienced it. And I felt I would be writing a book on my adventures.
I think really the crystal adventure ended when I changed my name and started a new blog, this one. This had sort of the same weave of sharing where I am at for those who ask, but it also became a reaching out to share my own awakening in a format that may assist others who are also awakening.
I feel it may be time for Phase 3. Yet to be seen really. Maybe it continues as is. Or maybe I use this venue to ignite my connections that which I am reaching for, make it more about me. But then … why share it??