I know that I am playing in a new level of power. It does not really relate to what I used to think power felt like. There are no edges. There is no push. There is no effort at all. Yet things get done. There are results. It is so very simple. There is ease and flow to it. And it seems to stem from a simple knowing. It is really hard to put words to. But I would like to try as this has been on my mind the last couple days, or longer.
One way to say it and one thing I am still noticing is how easy and simple my life is. And I believe this is due to new level of power that I simply hold, or that I AM, maybe. Now that doesn’t mean it is not very busy. There is a lot going on in this particular time period, as there was in the prior period. But there is really a flow and an ease with everything. In some ways, as I look back, this has been true for me for quite some time. It is getting “louder” though. It has amplified. And it permeates every aspect of my being now. I see it reflected back in all my experiences. And I hear it from and in people I am connecting with. It’s like this level of ease is catchy! And there is power in that. Things just shift and move. And they seem now to flow with the direction that I set them in. That is what I am noticing!
A short tangible example of simplicity in power is from last night. I burned my finger pretty badly touching a hot burner. I ran it under water for a bit, and I saw it blistered up quite a bit. But I did not look at it closely. I did not want to put attention on it. So I let my finger soak in a cold water with a bit of ice in it while I did other things. And that kept the pain down. A bit later, I notice the pain getting worse, so I googled how long to cool it down and it was stressed to not use ice water because that can cause more damage. Okay, so now it really hurt, and it was past what I thought I knew to do for it. So I sat with it and ran Reiki for a few minutes to alleviate the pain, and I played gently with other things I saw, like seeing the skin as it was before the burn, using the liquid laser light as we were taught in Mastering Alchemy class, apologizing to my skin for being careless and giving it this extra job to do, and sort of watching, but really more knowing, that the body not only knew how to heal this for me, but it could do it outside of time really. When I felt complete, I put a little salve on it that I thought was good for burns. I couldn’t feel the blister at that point, but I didn’t want to look at it yet. I think it was healed before I went to bed. When I did look at it in the morning, if you knew where to look, you could see a light pink line, and if I stretched my finger out, I could feel the skin was a little bit taut. I don’t know how long burns like that normally take to heal, but this was so simple and yet so powerful. And really, I just sat with it for a little a bit and knew it was fine. And it was more than that. There was a power in my thoughts and my knowing and my being. It is such a quiet power though, or was in this instance anyway.
I do that a lot for a lot of different things that come up, just sit with it and know it is fine. Not all of them are so physical that I get such tangible results. But there is so much reflected back to me right now in everything in my life that I do see it. I do know it. I am starting to acknowledge the implicit power in me.
Yes, so this goes back to what I learned after I first got to the States, when I was meeting with many friends and family members. Looking back, I have always held a power say in one on ones with others. I think even before I knew what I was doing, I sort of knew what I was doing and I could hold spaces for others so they could do their own thing. Now I see the level of power has grown so that I can hold a space for a group, or for a particular experience, like that of my Dad passing that my family and I are going through currently. I don’t have words yet to make this “knowable” to others, but I am starting to see the reflections and know it for myself. It is really just watching things flow in the motion that I set them in. It is me. The experience is a reflection of me.
In some of the experiences we had in Thailand, I remember stepping into a knowing, a simple knowing of my power a couple times. One was simply seeing beyond a shadow of a doubt that I hold well-being without any wobble. It is unshakable. And it is easy. I can hold that stably for as long as needed, and it is just a simple thought really – but not really a thought. But when I saw it for the first time, I realized I was capable of much, much more, because that piece, as needed as it was, was simple to hold and only needed a little awareness on my part. I could put attention on other things. And I see an analogy here that I was given a while ago about a spider.
“If I was to give a visual, I would say that your spiders here hold a concept, you see. Their web is woven across whatever terrain it is that they have chosen. That web links various points. And they have chosen these specific points to delineate the spaces that they may engage in. And yet, wherever their focus, their presence may most be within that structure, yet there is awareness to the tremors throughout that structure simultaneously and concurrently. And they have the ability to be there at any point on that web simply by movement of attention.”
So now, what I saw with the help of some friends earlier in this trip was a broader expression of this power. I found myself explaining that I feel I am being taught how to feel Earth energies and to begin to discern how I may wish to weave something into that part of the Earth. I could see it as I said it as an extension of when I sit and talk with someone, I just know the words to say, or know when to use laughter, or know when to use silence, or to just hold a space. I feel I am now being taught how to do this type of thing with the Earth. And that was one realization. But the one immediately following was: if I am being taught now, then I must be able to hold the power, the stability, at a level now that I can begin to have an effect on the Earth. I must be ready.
Joyful watching this growth evolving in you, Marybeth!